Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
