Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
