Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This baby is an asshole
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
