Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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