theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
