NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He has the fingertips of a God
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