do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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