some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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