yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
