may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
