I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
