glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Randomize
