my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
