Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
