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And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
