Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
