I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
