Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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