where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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