SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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