if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
