I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
