That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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