Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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