And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
