I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
