OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
