I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
