My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
