Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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