eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
