How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
