I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
