so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
