I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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