If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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