One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
