i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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