I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
