You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
