**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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