Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
