I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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