i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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