corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize