I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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