Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
