He had one of those small greek statue penises
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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