why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
