My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
