i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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