i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
